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Articles categorized as ‘Funny Friday’

Friday, April 25th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

An elementary school teacher decided to poll the class on the difficulty of their math homework assignment.

Australian Teachers Colleges in Australia

Become a teacher, have problems—math problems!

“How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents’ help?” she asked, looking for a show of hands.

About 25% of the students raised their hands.

“How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent?”

About 70% of the students their hand.

At this, the teacher notices about 5% of the class did not raise their hands.

She then called out, “How many people had to help a parent complete your assignment?”

Australian Teachers Colleges

Are you thinking of becoming a teacher? Completing an Australian teacher education program provides an excellent opportunity to obtain the teaching qualifications you need, while experiencing the excitement and culture of living in a new country.

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For more information about how to become a teacher, contact OzTREKK’s Australian Teachers Colleges Admissions Officer Rachel Brady at rachel@oztrekk.com, or call toll free at 1 866-698-7355. Find out more about how you can study in Australia and about teacher education programs at Australian universities.

Friday, April 11th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

The Side Effects of Alcohol

Symptom: Your feet are cold and damp.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle—you are pouring the drink on your feet.
Cure: Adjust glass until open end is facing upward.

Australian Medical Schools in Australia

Med student problems

Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You’re lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You’re looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill your glass!

Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You’re being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they’re taking you!

Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your empty glass on your ear and trying to drink from it.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself. Refill your glass and place it on your mouth.

Symptom: Your family members are looking funny.
Cause: You’re in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white, and the music is very loud and repetitive.
Cause: You’re in an ambulance.
Cure: Don’t move. Let the professionals do their job!

Applying to an Australian Medical School? Don’t forget to register for the MCAT! Go to https://www.aamc.org/students/applying/mcat/reserving/

Find out more about studying medicine in Australia at the following Australian universities:

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Would you like to study medicine in Australia? If you are interested in medical school in Australia and would like more information about the MCAT, please contact OzTREKK’s Australian Medical Schools Admissions Officer Broghan Dean 1-866-698-7355 or broghan@oztrekk.com.

Friday, April 4th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

A boy had a speech impediment and couldn’t pronounce the letter R, so his mother took him to a speech pathologist.

Australian Speech Pathology Schools in Australia

Speech pathologists are team players!

The therapist gave him a sentence to practice at home: “Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.”

A week later, the boy went back for a follow-up appointment and the therapist asked him to repeat the sentence.

The boy sat up proudly and replied, “Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because he didn’t cook the bunny enough.”

Australian Speech Pathology Schools

Australian Speech Pathology Schools offer undergraduate and graduate-entry professional certification programs in speech pathology, as well as a wide range of postgraduate options in specialized areas. Speech pathology programs in Australia aim to equip students with the theoretical knowledge, skills and professional attributes necessary for a career in speech pathology. Graduate qualifications in speech pathology from Australian universities are recognized internationally, and graduates are eligible to apply for certification in Canada.

The following OzTREKK Australian universities offer graduate-entry speech pathology programs, which allow graduates to apply to become certified as speech pathologists:

There are a limited number of places available in speech pathology programs in Australia for international students, and program start dates, admissions requirements, and application deadlines vary among universities. All programs require a student to have completed a bachelor’s degree and specific undergraduate subjects. These undergraduate prerequisites vary among Australian speech pathology programs.

OzTREKK will help you to clarify all program and admissions info, so please do not hesitate to contact OzTREKK’s Australian Speech Pathology Schools Admissions Officer Sarah Bridson if you have questions!

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Interested in a degree in speech pathology but not sure where to start? Contact OzTREKK’s Australian Speech Pathology Schools Admissions Officer Sarah Bridson at sarah@oztrekk.com, or phone Sarah toll free at 1-866-698-7355 for more information about Australian speech pathology programs.

Friday, March 28th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

Australian Audiology Schools in Australia

Testing, testing…

The doctor stopped Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”

Morris replied with a huge smile, “Just doing what you said, Doc: ‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’”

The doctor looked worried. “I didn’t say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’”

Audiology Programs at Australian Universities

Audiology is a growing discipline in the health sciences that deals with the study, diagnosis and rehabilitation of the auditory system of the human body. Audiology, as a clinical profession, uses applied science to develop and perform precision tests that locate the specific range and frequency of hearing loss, information necessary for implementing an effective recovery strategy. Additionally, audiology identifies and treats dysfunctions of the vestibular system, which can affect one’s balance and spatial orientation.

There are very few Canadian universities that offer a Master of Audiology, and only three audiology schools are taught solely as an English-language program. Consequently, competitive admissions arising from so few spots have made Australian Audiology Schools an attractive option for Canadian students who wish to learn the requisite clinical skills to practice audiology.

The following Australian universities offer audiology programs:

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For more information about how to become an audiologist, including audiology program entry requirements, application deadlines, tuition fees, and scholarships, please contact OzTREKK’s Australian Audiology Schools Admissions Officer Sarah Brison at sarah@oztrekk.com or call toll free at 1-866-698-7355.

Friday, March 21st, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.

Australian Pharmacy Schools in Australia

Want to study pharmacy? Hop to it!

The pharmacist was shocked and replied, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he stammered, “I— I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! They’ll throw both of us in jail!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in the arms of the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and nodded.

“Well, now. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Bachelor of Pharmacy

The Bachelor of Pharmacy is an undergraduate degree. It leads to a bachelor’s degree in pharmacy and is designed to equip students for a career in the pharmacy profession. Students can enter a pharmacy program directly from high school. Students from Canada who have already completed an undergraduate degree may also apply for entry into Australian Bachelor of Pharmacy programs.

Career Opportunities

As a key professional branch of the health-care system, pharmacists are sought after for positions in the public and private sector. Most pharmacists will opt for a career in either a hospital or a community pharmacy; however, employment opportunities also exist within pharmaceutical industry, medical research institutes, pharmacy administration, education or in the public and armed services.

Australian Pharmacy Schools

Are you interested in studying pharmacy at a pharmacy school in Australia? Contact OzTREKK’s Australian Pharmacy Schools Officer Rachel Brady at rachel@oztrekk.com, or call toll free in Canada at 1 866-698-7355. Find out how OzTREKK helps you to study in Australia!

Friday, March 14th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

The Mathematician’s Dictionary

Clearly: I don’t want to write down all the “in between” steps.

Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you’re in the wrong class.

Australian Science degrees

Happy Pi Day!

It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it.

Check for yourself: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.

Hint: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.

Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long inductions.

Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is fewer than ten lines long.

Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.

Two-line proof: I’ll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can’t question ’em if you can’t see ’em.

Briefly: I’m running out of time, so I’ll just write and talk faster.

Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.

Proof omitted: Trust me. It’s true.

Australian Math Degrees

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Are you interested in math and science? Find out more about studying science at an Australian university! Email OzTREKK Admissions Officer Rachel Brady at rachel@oztrekk.com or call 1 866-698-7355 (toll free in Canada) for more information about science degrees and how you can study in Australia.

Friday, March 7th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar’s gold in them fills!

Australian Dental Schools in Australia

Find out how to apply to an Australian Dental School

Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.

Q: Why did the king go to the dentist?
A: To get his teeth crowned!

Q: What time do you go to the dentist?
A: Tooth-hurty!

Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!

Q: What did the tooth say to the dentist as she was leaving?
A: Fill me in when you get back

Q: What is a dentist’s favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!

Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don’t know, the dentist kept it.

Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque

How to Apply to an Australian Dental School

Applying to an Australian Dental Schools listed below is streamlined and made stress-free for you by OzTREKK. All dental school applications are submitted directly to the OzTREKK Application and Information Centre in Ontario, Canada. To commence the application process, please click on the school that you wish to apply to, below, and follow the step-by-step guide.

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If you have any questions regarding dental schools in Australia, please contact OzTREKK’s Australian Dental Schools Admissions Officer Adam Smith at adam@oztrekk.com or call toll free in Canada at 1-866-698-7355. Find out more about Australian Dental Schools and about how you can study dentistry in Australia!

Friday, February 28th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.

Australian Law Schools in Australia

Think lawyer jokes are funny?

The physician said, “Remember that, on the sixth day, God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon; therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.”

The engineer replied, “But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer; therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine!”

Then, the lawyer spoke up. “Yes, but who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?”

About Law Programs in Australia

The Bachelor of Laws (LLB) is an undergraduate law degree. It is designed to equip students for a career in the legal profession. Australian students, like those from virtually all other Commonwealth countries except Canada, can enter the LLB program directly from high school. This is modelled on the system in the U.K. Some Australian Law Schools also offer graduate-entry LLB degrees for those who have already completed a bachelor degree.

Both the Juris Doctor (JD) and the postgraduate Bachelor of Laws are graduate law degrees. They are designed to equip students for a career in the legal profession. Students must have completed an undergraduate degree to be eligible for entry into either one of these programs.

Learn more about these Australian Law Schools

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Would you like more information about law schools in Australia? Contact OzTREKK Australian Law Schools Admissions Officer Sarah Bridson at sarah@oztrekk.com or call 1 866-698-7355 (toll free in Canada). Find how OzTREKK helps you to study in Australia and about law programs at Australian universities.

Friday, February 21st, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Friday

Welcome to (your veterinarian’s) automated telephone system!

Australian Veterinary Schools in Australia

Study veterinary medicine – help a hot dog!

To make an appointment, please press 1.

To tell us your life history as well as your pet’s before making your appointment, please press 2.

To speak directly to a veterinarian, press 3.

If you feel your pet’s condition warrants pulling a doctor away from the patient he/she is currently seeing or operating on, press 4.

For a listing of the doctor’s home telephone number and beeper number, please press 5.

To schedule emergency after-hours surgery, press 6.

If your regular veterinarian is on vacation, press 7.

If your pet’s condition has persisted for 2 to 6 months but has suddenly become an emergency and he needs to be seen this evening after 6 p.m., please press 8.

For a toenail trim on your 100-lb aggressive dog, press 9. If it is before 7 a.m. or after 7 p.m., please press 10 for our treatment technician’s home phone number.

If you would like us to hold a cheque for you until the following month, please press 11.

If you would like us to postdate a previously held postdated cheque,  press 12.

If you would like us to mail back your postdated cheque so that you can send us one for less money, or to make other payment arrangements, please press 13 for our office manager.

Also, press 13 if you need to bring in 10 unvaccinated puppies with vomiting and bloody diarrhea and you have $10 in your pocket.

If you have been on hold for 10 minutes, press 14.

If you have been on hold for 20 minutes, press 15.

If you have been on hold for 30 minutes or longer, press 16 for the receptionist or e-mail her at receptionist@yourvetclinic.com.

If you are under stress and need to project your anger at someone, press 17 for a receptionist.

To determine if your pet’s condition (i.e., hit by car, grand mal seizures, or unconsciousness) is serious and it needs to be seen today, press 18. Our team of experts are standing by waiting to debate the issue with you for as long as it takes.

If your animal has not eaten in 10 days, press 19.

If you have accidentally taken your animal’s flea control pill or heartworm medicine, press 20.

If your reptile (snake, Savannah monitor, iguana, chameleon, etc.) has been living in a dark, 30 degree room and has not eaten in 60 days, press 21.

If you have a 200+ lb pot-bellied pig or other large farm animal, please press 22 for drive-through surgery service.

If you live in a rural area and your “rock walder gots the mange,” press 23.

If  just want to talk, press 24 and our receptionist will set up a private home appointment for you with a vet.

If your mouse was eaten by your snake, your snake killed by your cat, your cat attacked by your dog, and your dog was kicked by your horse, please press 25.

None of these numbers will give you a real person, but they’ll take your mind off your problems for a while. Our automated telephone service allows us to serve your pet’s needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!

Learn more about these Australian Veterinary Schools:

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Are you interested in becoming a veterinarian?

If you have any questions or would like veterinary school updates emailed to you, please contact OzTREKK’s Australian Veterinary Schools Officer Rachel Brady at rachel@oztrekk.com or call 1-866-698-7355 (toll free in Canada).

Friday, February 14th, 2014

OzTREKK Funny Valentine

Every Friday after work, a mathematician goes down to the local ice cream parlor, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl, who isn’t there, if he can buy her an ice cream cone.

OzTREKK Study in Australia

Happy Valentine’s Day, OzTREKKers! ♥

The owner, who is used to the weird, local university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when ♥ Valentine’s Day ♥ arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, “I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is never a woman sitting in that last stool, man. Why do you persist in talking to empty space?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there.”

The owner raises his eyebrows. “Really? Interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy her a cone?  You never know… she might say yes.”

The mathematician laughs. “Yeah, right. How likely is that to happen?”

Find out more information about the following study opportunities in Australia:

OzTREKK represents the following Australian universities:

The OzTREKK Application and Information Centre is free to all students as its services are provided on behalf of, and fully funded by, the above Australian universities.

♥ Happy Valentine’s Day from all of us at OzTREKK!

Contact OzTREKK for more information about how you can study in Australia! Email OzTREKK at info@oztrekk.com or call toll free in Canada 1 866-698-7355 for more information about Australian universities.